Fulham sues Manchester United for copyright infringement

After the recent loss to Everton in the league, it comes as an additional blow to the wounds of defeat that Fulham’s board is suing the Manchester United team for copying their style of play. The clueless passing and the directionless attacks has been a trademark feature of Fulham Football Club this season.

In their 4-1 deafeat in the hands of their noisy neighbours, Manchester United's strategy and play had a striking resemblance to that of Fulham. In a report released by the Fulham's board, they have mentioned the unique style of play of Fulham Football Club and the similarities with Manchester United’s poor statistics in detail, a copy of which was sent to the FIFA headquarters.

Analyzing United's performance against Everton, the report said that few players were afraid to get the ball across the goal line as they feared contracting the HIV virus, a clear indication that they had bunked the sex education classes in school.

Nemamja Vidic seemed upset being woken up from his mid-match nap and went back to sleep soon after he was forced to be on  field by the management team. Wayne Rooney's strike that hit the post shows similar motiviation to that of  Kasami's attempt. Fulham board had decided to file a separate case against Rooney.

Before that, United's devastation by City, which according to the detailed summary released by the board, “was a mockery of our matches when we used to be brutalized for no apparent reasons.”
An excerpt from the report, “Manchester United's repeated demolition by City was in clear violation of the copyright laws as defined by the joint patent by Fulham, Betis and Sampdoria and we are left with no other option but to fight back for what is truly our heritage.”

No official from the United's board could be reached for comment, however the journalists heard frantic laughter from United's office as soon as the news was released.

Ryan Giggs, in a press release, has apologized to the Fulham supporters for hurting their sentiments and added that since it was only their first season under David Moyes, it will take them some time to come up with a unique losing style of their own.

Troll Series #001

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5 Reason Why Ronaldo Should Win the Ballon d'Or

The 3 favorites to win 2013 Fifa Ballon d'Or 

As manly Lionel Messi may look dribbling past his opponents, giving away a 5th ‘Golden Ball’ would prove too much. Anyhow, this year's Ballon d'Or race is now probably limited to a two horse race after he was ruled out for two months with a thigh injury. It also defeated the theory that claims he is in fact a droid.

Mr. Ronaldo's biggest rival now appears to be Mr. Ribery; he was a very important part of the Bayern Munich's team which won Champions League, Bundesliga, German Cup and European Super Cup. But here are some of the reasons why Cristiano Ronaldo will outshine the likes of Messi, Ribéry and Zlatan Ibrahimovic (honourable mention) for the 2013 Ballon d'Or.

5. Messi is injured

The Argentine has been ruled out regularly for the Catalan side in the past year, and his absence was most keenly felt during Barcelona's 7-0 aggregate defeat against Bayern Munich in the semi-finals of Champions League. Messi has been suffering from the hamstring injury since the start of 2013 - now he's suffering with a torn muscle which will keep him out till late January of the next year.

Despite his injury problems, he has still scored 14 goals in the 16 games he has played in. Even though Messi is bookie's 2nd favourite to win the title, with the margins so small, his injuries will make a lot of difference.

4. Ronaldo is the fan’s favourite now

In a poll conducted by Sky Sports, the fans were asked to vote for the footballer they thought deserved the Ballon d’Or. Cristiano Ronaldo took 84% of the votes, Messi with just 8%, Ribery 6% and 2% of others. Ronaldo clearly outshone the competitors completely for the fans votes.

Not to forget the likes of Zidane and Mourinho coming out in support of Portuguese saying he deserves this year's Ballon d'Or.

3. Ribery’s contribution to Bayern’s success is overrated 

Let's see the stats of Arjen Robben and Ribery who hold the key for Bayern's dominant attack. In the last season, Ribery scored 16 goals in all competitions for the club and had 29 assists to his name averaging a goal every 261 minutes.

On the other hand, his fellow teammate Arjen Robben scored 16 goals for the club and assisted 16 times and averaged less than Ribery with a goal every 164 minutes. Although, Robben played fewer games than Ribery, the stats are almost similar.

Not to forget that the Bavarian’s star looked awful trying to pull a German look in the city’s Oktoberfest.

“Lass uns etwas trinken gehen.”

2. Trophies are not decisive

The only reason Frank Ribery could walk away with the Ballon d'Or is the fact that he has won all the major trophies with Bayern Munich last season. But club trophies have not been historically decisive.

Like In 2010, Messi won the award ahead of Iniesta and Xavi when the three had all won the same number of trophies with Barcelona, and the two Spaniards won the World Cup, unlike the Argentine.

1. Ronaldo is in great form

Cristiano has scored 24 goals and laid on seven assists for Real Madrid in a mere 18 games this season, averaging a goal every 65 minute. No player in Europe's top league has a stat like that. Not to forget that Cristiano has scored 56 goals in this calendar year itself for club and country; the winger has netted six goals in seven games including a 15 minute hat trick against Northern Ireland for Portugal.

So I believe its time for Ronaldo to get his 2nd Ballon d'Or. But please do us a favour and mention Mr. Sepp Blater in your acknowledgement note. We would love to see the look on his face when you do it. Ok, jokes apart. But do you now that the Ballon d'Or winner has never gone on to win the world cup the following year?

Zero: Number of F*** given by Ronaldo about Ballon d'Or

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